Sub-House-Pet Intelligence Runs Rampant

Are you freaking serious?“FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY. Avoid putting in eyes. Stop use if irritation develops.” Um, yeah. For heaven’s sake, even my cats know these basic principles without being told. So why do we have these warnings on hand cream labels? If someone is as smart as a house pet and can read the warning, they don’t need it.

Thank you droves of litigious people with your umpteen spurious and irresponsible lawsuits. Coffee is hot. Don’t dump it on your body. Hand cream does not go in your eyes. Don’t put it there. Lighters and children are a recipe for disaster. Keep the lighters away from children. If it irritates your skin, stop using it. DUH! You with the absurd lawsuits are the ones with intelligence lower than house pets. 

It’s so much better–more effective! more fun! more money for the lawyers!–to spend the extra billions of dollars a year suing people and putting warning labels on things than it is to teach people to think. I don’t see how we missed that all along. How silly of us to imagine that just maybe thinking was part of being a literate human.

By the way, don’t stick hand cream in your eye, and if it irritates your skin, stop using it. For the record, don’t eat it, either. (Just in case you’re not as smart as a house pet.)

Comments are closed.