The Freaking Terms

Legal Necessary Terms Of Use and Privacy Stuff:

  • Not for people under the age of 13. That’s years. Not decades. COPPA is the law where I’m at, and I think it’s a damned good idea. If I have a reason to believe you’re under 13, I delete your stuff.
  • Some posts may be NSFW, MA, 18+ (or whatever age it is in your locale to read adult subject matter of whatever variety) so you have to be of age to read them. Those posts will be password protected and you must avow to me that you are of 18+ or appropriate other age to get the password. I keep notes.
  • You use the site, you hold me and my contractors for the site harmless. This includes if you snort soda out your nose from laughing and every other permutation of possible issues.
  • You can’t use the site or any portion of it if it’s illegal to do so where ever you are. Duhr.
  • My sandbox. You crap in it, I scoop it out. Freedom of speech is for the press. This is not the press. It’s my online home. Disagreeing is okay. Doing it in a rude manner is not.
  • Unless otherwise noted all blog content is copyrighted by me. To legally use it, you have to get my permission. Use smoke signals and stuff here to ask for permission.
  • I’m not responsible for the content or policies of third party links including advertising. I can’t be. I don’t do their stuff, and I can’t change it. So check their terms and privacy. Or don’t go there. Up to you.
  • Privacy – You give me your personally identifiable info, I’ll keep it to myself unless the law says I have to give it up or you give me permission to share it. I use those things to contact you and do things you ask me to with them, that’s all. I collect aggregate and non-personally identifying info for marketing research and for kicks looking at stats. IP addresses are collected so the law can do its thing when it must and to figure out stats stuff like what continent most visitors come from so that I can start writing in Swahili if needed; I don’t do anything else with them except for that darned marketing and stats stuff.
  • Ads – Important and true legalese about ads here. >> We may use third-party advertising companies to serve ads when you visit our website. These companies may use information (not including your name, address, email address, or telephone number) about your visits to this and other websites in order to provide advertisements about goods and services of interest to you. If you would like more information about this practice and to know your choices about not having this information used by these companies, click here. Please note about Google: Google, as a third party advertising company, uses cookies to serve ads on your site. Google’s use of the DART cookie enables it to serve ads to users based on their visit to my site and other sites on the Internet. Users may opt out of the use of the DART cookie by visiting the Google ad and content network privacy policy.
  • Cookies (Not the chocolate chip kind) – “The cookie settings on this website are set to ‘allow all cookies’ to give you the very best experience.”  (Per EU Required notice.) Turn them off if you don’t like them.  Heaven only knows if the site will work without them, but it probably will. You can turn them off even if it won’t. Check your browser’s help to learn how to turn them off.
  • I can and will change these terms at my own singular discretion at any time I feel like it. I’ll post updates here on this very page. By visiting you are bound by the current ones. Come back and read them regularly.
  • Transparency – On the really wild chance that someone gives me something (cookies, money, whatever) to review their something, I’ll let you know right there where I do the review. My opinions are my own whether that someone gives me anything or not.
  • Per DMCA if you feel your or someone you are legal agent for has had their copyright messed with on my blog, send me an email at and I will take it down for 30 days to allow you time to send proof of copyright violation to R. Harton, PO Box 3061, Henrico, VA 23228. If I do not receive reasonable proof within that time, you agree that I will at my discretion consider your request invalid and return the item to its original place.
  • If you don’t like it here, disagree with any of the terms, or are underage, you must leave. Here are some exits: ONE, TWO, THREE (thought I bloody hate THREE, but hey, you should have lots of exits!) and there are numerous others in the sidebar.

Are you bored to death with the legal stuff now? I am. I think I’ll take a nap.

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