No Figment, Smaug

Dragon photo by garryknight on flickr cc by sa 2.0Habit got me by the nose and started dragging me toward NaNoWriMo. I’ve enjoyed it over the last couple of years so much that I’ve done every Camp NaNoWriMo as well. Why would I resist a habit that Is fun and harmless?

Unfortunately this time the habit had to drag me into the jaws of a dragon. I had thought to name this dragon Figment.I found out this dragon is a greedy, evil wretch, and its name is Smaug.

Dragon Naturally Speaking is a requirement for me to do NaNoWriMo this year. My recently repaired hand would be tortured by trying to type 50K+ words in a month on top of going back to work to make jewelry and write about stones. I’m not much into hand torture, so I pulled the dragon out of its lair.

“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons,
for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”

The dragon was not thrilled to be awoken. Smaug has been forcing me, with dire threat of being eaten with ketchup, to pay homage ever since. I spent over 10 hours training the miserable reptile, and still it refuses to behave.

I wrote a chapter of back story for my planned Nanonovel  last night, about 1800 words, with Smaug’s so-called help. Smaug helped me take only three hours to do it, with all the verbal corrections that had to be done as I went. (Who knew how problematic dragons find synonyms?) Then Smaug helped me spend another 40 minutes manually correcting that chapter so that I would know later what I had been trying to say; blobs of gibberish had not been my intent when I conceived the chapter.

Smaug is as bad or worse than autofuckup on my android.

1800 words in three hours and forty minutes might be normal for some people when writing first draft, original prose. It is abysmally slow for me. I average 1000 to 1600 words per hour when I am typing without the assistance of a cantankerous dragon. That’s a huge gap in performance.

At the rate Smaug goes, I’m staring into a dark reality where it might well take me three or more times as long to do NaNoWriMo this year. I’m not sure I can pull an extra 100+ hours out of my November. I start back to work on the 4th, and will need every waking hour of that first week to catch up. Even with a lost week of writing, I could do NaNoWriMo at the rate I usually type manually. I’m not at all sure I can do 150 hours or more of prose in 3 weeks, especially as they’re three weeks running up to the retail Christmas season. Not to mention that I can’t take Smaug out in public for the write-ins I enjoyed last year.

I’m fairly sure I’m now dragon fodder. I hope someone has a black arrow to save me.


No Figment, Smaug — 2 Comments

  1. I shall go on Amazon at once to acquire the black arrow you need!